DR's Constant Battle Against ADD

[DirtyRed]

I am DirtyRed, and I'm amazing. Currently in the latter half of a Texas Method cycle in the lead up to USAPL nationals, which I totally qualified for by more than 5 kgs. I also hold a totally important record in a TOTALLY important state for squatting 272.5 commie units in the 105 commie weight class. And there's totally not a junior that's liable to break it if he shows up to nationals.

Age: 27
Weight: 240ish Freedoms, need to lose 10+ lbs before nationals.
Previous PRs:
-Squat 601 lbs
-Bench 315 lbs (paused)
-Deadlift 555 lbs

And a 300 lbs clean and jerk that is totally irrelevant at the moment.

NORMALLY, today would be a full volume day, but because of absurd work bullshit, I'm having to split it between today and Tuesday. Not that it isn't Tuesday as I type this. Shut up.

This will have me doing curls and dips the day before I do chin ups and close grip bench, but fuck it.

The first half of volume day went all right. Squats went as well as one could expect, and bench only got 4 sets worth of paused reps before having to Touch'n'Go. Which, I'm pretty sure, is better than I've previously done with that weight. If this coming ID goes well, I can reasonably expect SOME FUCKING BENCH IMPROVEMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE DECEMBER.

It's also probably a good time to start losing a bit of weight, as I need to be 10 lbs lighter by weigh ins. So if I seem unusually cranky, it's because I haven't had the beer and bacon grease necessary to steady my nerves after a full day of dealing with the sort of devolved hominid that orders pizza.

Volume Day 5.5a
Squats: 5x5 490 lbs
Bench: 4x5 paused 1x5 Touch'n'Go 265 lbs

ETA: Skip to page four for the start of some ill advised Olympic lifting nonsense that probably won't end in surgery. Probably.

ETA II: Skip to page 8 for general strength and conditioning in the name of rugby pursuits that probably won't end in brain injury. Probably.

[Kregna]

5x5 squats at almost 500lbs

Madnezz

[cgeorg]

Madnezz? THIS IS KENTUUUUUUUUUCKYYYYYYYYYYY.

Seriously though that's a ton of tonnage.

[mgil]

I can only pray for your bench.

[hsilman]

Sending positive vibes to your bench.

Our hopes and prayers are with you.

[ithryn]

But I heard Texas Method kills gains and causes autism

[DirtyRed]

5x5 squats at almost 500lbs

Madnezz

Wait a couple of weeks. The last proper volume day is going to be 5x5x500 followed by a funeral.

But I heard Texas Method kills gains and causes autism

That's silly, Texas Method doesn't kill gains.

Part B went as well as expected. Lower back took some loosening up to START with deadlifts the day after all those volume squats, and all the ARMZ stuff might hinder me tomorrow (note: once again it's Tomorrow as I type this), ESPECIALLY on chin ups, which I suck ass at to begin with.

But these people, holy shit. There was a guy wearing a weighted vest while he did what could charitably be called squats. He then did some standing presses with the weighted vest on, and I was stymied trying to figure out which of the two was more asinine. There was ANOTHER guy doing Upright Rows 3.0. Or a Pull Row, or whatever the fuck the exact opposite of a push press would be called. He got the barbell traveling upwards exclusively with knee and hip extension before letting it float up to his chin.

This wasn't a "clean pull" or whatever Oly spazzes will do either. He had that classic Too Close Together upright row grip that brought his thumbs to his chin with his elbows pointed straight out. All with 65 lbs.

I also weighed in a pound lighter than I did on Monday. Surely that's actual weight loss and not just because I took a dump before heading to the gym. Surely. I also celebrated with pie. I think this mini-cut is going to go well.

Volume Day 5.5b
Deadlifts: 5x3 440 lbs
Dips: 5x8 10 lbs added
Curls: 4x10 85 lbs

[DirtyRed]

Not much of note happened on Light Day, except that chin ups were a clusterfuck like I expected. And I may have overdone it a bit with the curls on Tuesday. My biceps at the elbow were complaining. Though as I type this, any discomfort has gone away, so I'm going to goddamn ignore it like usual.

Light Day 5.5
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 185 lbs
Chin Ups: 3x"8"
Close Grip Bench: 3x8 215 lbs

[DirtyRed]

Besides squats, Intensity Day went well. I'll be doing one more full week before I back off ahead of the meet.

Intensity Day 5.5
Squats: 3x1 585 lbs
Bench (paused): 5x1 305 lbs
Deadlift: 3x1 545 lbs

[mgil]

How is bench feeling?

[DirtyRed]

OH MY FUCKING GOD

I didn't forget Volume Day, I just made a conscious decision to not give a fuck about updating because I didn't have the goddamn energy. And there's still one more VD to go. I regret everything. Including getting to the gym right at 5 PM (peak idiot hour), and thus walking in on a menagerie of nonsense. One guy was doing curl complexes with 55-75 lbs in the squat rack, there was a trio of high schoolers admiring their ribs in the mirror in between sets of 20 lbs dumbbell bench press, one lady doing unilateral ankle extensions on the leg press machine, and someone half repping EVERY ANGLE of barbell bench available.

Light Day was better, as there was a girl with a phat ass doing goodmornings with 10 added lbs in the MAXRACK. Terrible training, but that's okay. That's just 100% okay.

Volume Day 5.6 (kill me)
Squats: 5x5 495 lbs
Bench Press: 4x5 paused, 1x5 Touch'n'Go 270 lbs
Deadlifts: 5x3 455 lbs
Dips: 5x8 10 lbs added
Curls: 4x10 85 lbs

Light Day 5.6
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 185 lbs
Chin Ups: 3x8
Close Grip Bench: 3x8 215 lbs

I'm weighed in at 236 lbs with shoes on, which means I've lost a good five lbs, which has helped with chin ups more than I would have thought. They're actually chin ups now, instead of Chin Ups 3.0

How is bench feeling?

All training seems to be going well and into weights previously not hit in training. If I can get 3 singles at 310 on Friday, it will be a good indicator of progress. If I can get all 5, it will be a good indicator that a god exists and He's me and I just worked a bloody miracle.

[DirtyRed]

This is totally an on time Intensity Day update. Shut up.

A bit of a mixed bag. I failed the fifth squat which is irritating considering I had done 585 lbs for five singles before. This makes me worry about my ability to actually PR squats at the meet. Bench press went about as well as I expected going in. I only got three reps, which I'm 99% certain is better than I've done with 310 lbs before, so I'm feeling confident in a PR at the meet. Deadlifts continue to show no signs of stopping, as I got all 3 with what was only 5 lbs less than my previous best deadlift, so I might try something silly with my third deadlift at the meet, depending on how the second attempt goes.

Also, there was a female of above average attractiveness doing Crane Squats in the MAXrack. Crane Squats being a DR Original Name, as I have no idea what you actually call a one legged quarter-squat where you hold your non-"lifting" leg in front of you in a flexed position, like that of a flamingo or the goddamn Karate Kid mid Crane Kick.

Intensity Day 5.6
Squats: 4x1 585 lbs
Bench (Paused): 3x1 310 lbs
Deadlifts: 3x1 550 lbs

[DirtyRed]

Okay, so I slept until 4 PM on Monday because I thought I had Monday and Tuesday off, and it was either that or go outside and interact with other people. THEN I get a call before I leave for the gym at 8 PM that the homosexual at work (not judging, stating facts) got his idiot car repossessed (kind of judging) and I was the only devilishly charming man available to work his Tuesday day shift. So, well after I could do anything about being in the gym until 2 AM, I find out I had to wake up at 8:30 AM. That sort of bullshit is why I haven't updated in a week.

Volume Day got done, more or less. Bench press faltered, partly because my QUADRICEPS of all things kept cramping, possibly because squatting 500 lbs for 5 sets of 5 reps was an incredibly stupid/handsome thing to do, and it wanted me to know that. Those squats actually went a bit better than I was expecting, in that they actually all went. Deadlifts felt REALLY grindy for what were supposed to be only moderately taxing volume reps, possibly because of the goddamn squats.

Light Day was Light Day.

My dumb ass forgot to actually bring my water bottle full of preworkout INTO THE CAR with me for "Intensity" Day, so that's in the fridge until Monday. I HOPE that's the reason everything felt a bit harder than I was expecting it too, particularly squats. 565 lbs shouldn't be such a pain. Bench wasn't nearly as bad, and deadlift felt solid. These weights are intended as openers in the meet.

The only Wacky Gym Shit I can remember is a dude I've probably previously mentioned, doing asinine crap while hollering, grunting, squeaking, PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-ing, groaning, and, at one point, apparently powering up. Another guy and I were discussion how he had a different silly noise to make for every fucking thing he did. That's some programming right there.

Volume Day 5.7
Squats: 5x5 500 lbs
Bench: 1x5 paused, 2x5 2x4 touch'n'go 275 lbs
Deadlifts: 5x3 450 lbs
Dips: 5x8 10 lbs added
Curls: 4x10 85 lbs

Light Day 5.7
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 185 lbs
Chin Ups: 3x8
Close Grip Bench: 3x8 215 lbs

Back Off Intensity Day:
Squats: Single rep with 565 lbs
Bench (paused): Single rep with 300 lbs
Deadlift: Single rep with 515 lbs

[DirtyRed]

Weeny Volume Day was pretty standard. Except for the one guy doing the middle third of a Low Bar squat with excellent form. He didn't hit depth OR lockout, but that middle third was fuggen TEXTBOOK.

Everything felt really rock solid. Which it should, since this is basically active recovery.

Weeny Volume Day 5
Squats: 3x5 405 lbs
Bench (paused): 3x5 225 lbs
Deadlifts: 3x3 405 lbs

You might be asking what the high level programming method lead to using those weights. Well, they were a nice, even number of 45 lbs plates without being insultingly easy or the least bit hard.

Complicated, I know.

[EricK]

You might be asking what the high level programming method lead to using those weights. Well, they were a nice, even number of 45 lbs plates without being insultingly easy or the least bit hard.

Complicated, I know.

So, you went by feels.

[DirtyRed]

You might be asking what the high level programming method lead to using those weights. Well, they were a nice, even number of 45 lbs plates without being insultingly easy or the least bit hard.

Complicated, I know.

So, you went by feels.

They were an ELO (Exertional Level Observed <- copyrighted, trademarked, AND patented, you can't use this) of about a particularly fierce fart.

[mgil]

Hope to see a meet write up soon. Did you do anything fun while you were in Orlando?

User rank adjusted.

[DirtyRed]

Well that certainly could have gone better. The whole goal of this was to qualify for Nationals and then go to Nationals to say I did it. With that accomplished, I figured I'd stop doing powerlifting meets for the most part, as I'm basically just wasting hundreds of dollars and a lot of time to accomplish the exact same shit I can accomplish in the gym 20 minutes away that I'm paying $35 a month for regardless. This trip made very clear that this is the right decision. The only reason I'd EVER do another USAPL meet is if I, for some reason, wanted to be bitched at by unlifting shit heads that are annoyed I can't read their mind to decipher the One True Way to take off my fucking clothes to weigh in.

The prick weighing me in was bitching at me to hurry up when I was setting my phone, wallet and keys aside, which I was doing because I couldn't just take my bag with me for some fucking reason, so there was just an unattended bag sitting around the Orlando airport for a good five minutes. And I obviously wanted to keep the three things necessary for escaping that fucking state as close as possible. Then after I weigh in and put my pants back on, the guy says he needs my openers, so I move over to tell him and he bitches at me to finish getting dressed first. Like it matters whether or not I'm wearing a fucking shirt when I tell him my openers.

Squats didn't go well, which MAY have had something to do with the 12 hour drive to Orlando, but that didn't seem to hinder bench or deadlift any. I easily got an opener of whatever 565ish in is commie-units, then twice failed the 272.5 kg I got rather easily in the April meet.

Bench press went much better, got 320ish lbs with one red light (not sure if it was because the bar wasn't PERFECTLY even or I was a bit hasty on racking it) on my second attempt, but I started to get an erector cramp at the end of the rep, so I only went up another 2.5 kgs to about 325 lbs and successfully lifted that, and didn't have the erectors begin to cramp on me. I might have been able to get another 5 lbs out of it. Regardless, that's 10 lbs of PR on bench press. Which means that Mgil wins the Get Out of Field of Honor Free card. Which is mostly symbolic, as no one has ever actually shown up to the Field of Honor before.

Deadlifts were a shitshow. I got 515 easily as an opener, and went up to about 567 because 565 wasn't an option. I then pulled it to lockout without undue grinding, where I waited a full fucking One Mississippi for the fucking down command. I must have missed the part of the rules that require me to pose for a fucking picture at the top of the deadlift. I got to lockout, remained in that position entirely too long, and THEN got a down command. I obviously locked it out, because I DID get a down command. But by the P of one Mississippi, the bar had ripped out of my left hand, taking a considerable chunk of my middle finger with it. This bullshit repeated itself on the third attempt, that time with a considerable chunk of my index finger.

The USAPL is such a fucking shitshow combination of amateur hour horseshit and unwarranted self importance. They at one point announced that some girl who won the 74 kg class wasn't able to receive her prize that day for some reason, so they gave it, a $250 GNC gift basket, that afternoon. She won nationals, and got a $250 gift basket that, knowing GNC's prices, was two weeks of protein powder, ten fish oil pills, and one shot of pre-workout. I once came in 27th place in the Kentucky Open and was awarded $585 in actual money. That's how small potatoes the USAPL is. At one point I was sitting backstage, and happened to see a bench press attempt on screen that was literally touch and go. This man could not possibly have waited for the press command, as a guy next to me mentioned, as there was no pause at all. He got two white lights. I suppose the retard side judges weren't paying any fucking attention, or perhaps didn't know about the whole press command, because there is no way the head judge giving the command cleared that shit. There were a dozen people backstage standing shocked, mouths agape, that this was cleared. These retards want to be in the Olympics and they can't even get a bench press call right. But I have to hold onto a deadlift long enough for a WWE ref to count to 3.

There is NO goddamn excuse for reffing this fucking inconsistent. This is really simple shit they're judging for the most part. There is NO REASON for everyone to not be on the same page regarding this shit, to the extent there are seconds of difference in waiting for fucking commands between two meets. There's really no reason for most of these commands in the first place. If these retards were in charge of Olympic lifting, there would be a Lift command, a required pause at the bottom of cleans an snatches, a Recover command, and a separate Jerk command. All to make the head ref feel important I guess. They couldn't just have the lifter fucking do the lift according to the requirements and then judge based on whether or not he actually met the requirements, like they ALREADY FUCKING DO with squat depth. Oh fuck no. It's shit like this, along with a myriad of other reasons, that these assclowns will NEVER be in the Olympics.

One of the retard side judges would later bitch at me for swearing as I got screwed out of a deadlift and tore the shit out of my finger. Sure, NOW, that I am covered in blood and chalk and not wearing pants, it's the time for "professionalism." That's why she's wearing a suit jacket, you see. She's a PROFESSIONAL, in dress and manners anyway. She's not the slightest bit professional in terms of actual ability to do her fucking job. One wonders how this useless fuckwaste became a ref. Did she have to fail an IQ test AND an eyesight test to qualify?

And I am so goddamn sick of baby powder. I was fucking sliding everywhere. Between that shit and the inexplicably carpeted platform (seriously, can someone explain to me why carpet? It seems like the only thing it would do is make it more slippery and harder to clean than wood), I was struggling to brace my arch for the bench press without my feet slipping. It MIGHT just be that my shoes are getting old and have grown a bit slick from all the wear, because couple of guys I was talking to didn't have that problem (or maybe they simply hadn't walked through baby power to get to the platform, who knows), but this baby powder bullshit is still inexcusable.

Fuck these meets. I can't imagine what sort of head trauma one has to endure or what mental illness one has to suffer from to enjoy this shit. I went to Nationals, there is nothing left for me in this farcical insult to sports, I'm done. Fucking hell, if I wanted to suffer through traveling to put up with self-absorbed retards all goddamn day at great personal expense, I'd go back to golf. At least in golf I could win money if I was any good.

I did order some new shoes on a deal. Which came with a free shaker. Which would have been nice to know before I previously bought a shaker. Unfortunately, they didn't have red in size 10 there, so I'm waiting for them to get some of those in to ship to me, which is probably going to take a month, all told. We'll see if they're any good.

[KOTJ]

USAPL nationals are actually just a lead-in for buying time shares.

[DirtyRed]

USAPL nationals are actually just a lead-in for buying time shares.

Fortunately I got out of there before I was roped in to any of that.

Abundance of sexy Latinas aside, I don't wish to long remain in any land where milk costs $3 a gallon.

Now, as far as actual training goes, I'm probably going to take a light week to physically decompress from aggressively lifting heavy shit for months on end, and to let the holes in my left hand heal. After that, I'm thinking of doing a Snatch/C&J oriented program, as I never did get an LMAO3PLAYT C&J like I wanted. We'll see what my weight is on Monday, but I might try to slim down all the way to 220, maybe even 215, before swoling/fattening back up, hopefully a touch leaner. What I'm thinking of for a plan is something along the lines of

Monday:
Snatch 8x2
C&J 15x1
Dips 5x8

Tuesday:
Squats 5x10 (this will ramp up in weights to 5x8 and then 5x5, I am of the opinion that I need more total volume to drive squats any further, kind of a pyramid scheme)
Standing The Press 3.5: 5x5
Deadlifts: 3x3 at not terribly difficult weights, given all the other pulling I'll be doing

Thursday:
Work up to a single Snatch
Work up to a single C&J
Front Squats: 3x3 at generally not very difficult weights
Chin ups: 3x"8" per usual

Saturday:
Paused Squats: 3x5 (this will ramp up in weights to 3x3 and 5x1 as the program goes)
Standing The Press 3.5: 1x5
Deadlifts: 1x3
Curls: 4x10

Weights in general will start nice and light to adjust to higher rep sets of squats, paused squats, and getting back into cleans and snatches and stuff. I also probably need to stretch out things like shoulders, wrists, elbows, and knees, as the quadriceps pain from way back in the log originally started when last doing Olympic lifts, and heavy cleans would make the medial side of my forearm ache like hell, probably because I wasn't super fast in getting my elbows under and up, my arms are long, and I'm not greatly flexible, all of that leading to the bar jamming more forearm and wrist back for me, and aggravating shit in my forearm.

Four days a week might also keep any one day from taking five fucking hours. We'll see how this goes for probably about 10 weeks. Unless rugby interferes, which it might if this local club some people are trying to start gets going.

Also, grip faltering on deadlift, even when not required to stand at attention for unnecessarily long periods, has been a recurring problem. DR is open to any suggestions on how to fix, given the constraints of no farmer's handles, and no dumbbells over 120 lbs. Preferably in a way that doesn't involve meme-y stuff from the Rogue website.