Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

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Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#1

Post by Allentown » Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:46 am

I work with a rich cast of characters. Today's story involves:
Crazy Catholic Lady- 65. Retiring to California next year. Will literally shake with fear when reading weather reports containing snow. Probably not Catholic, but spends all her time outside work with church events or her cats. Built a sound-proof room in her basement for her and her cats to use on the 4th of July.

Dumb Nurse- was a nurse in Hawaii in the 60s, but is from MI. Pronounces it "di-a-beetus" like Wilford Brimley, and says it at least 3 times a day on the phone with physicians. Believes vaccinations are a conspiracy from the pharmaceutical companies, and that Lipton Brisk Iced Tea with Lemon gives her cold sores. Currently rides jumpy-horses.

Today's story involves Dumb Nurse. She encountered CCL at the end of our row of cubicles, and loudly proclaimed "Well! I swear my mug must absorb water. I filled it all the way up in the kitchen, and now the water is down to there!"(presumably DN was showing CCL the contents of her coffee mug) CCL responded "Oh my! Well did you spill any?" (being a slightly more reasonable person when snowfall is not involved) DN, in a scolding voice (as she tends to become very angry when she thinks someone is mocking her) "NO, I was watching it the entire time. This is the second time this has happened this week."

Yes, I'm sure that's the most likely explanation.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#2

Post by Root » Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:49 am

So DN just sits there staring at her coffee mug?

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#3

Post by Allentown » Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:59 am

Root wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:49 am So DN just sits there staring at her coffee mug?
I assume she meant she was looking at it while walking from the coffee station back to her desk.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#4

Post by Root » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:16 am

Allentown wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:59 am
Root wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:49 am So DN just sits there staring at her coffee mug?
I assume she meant she was looking at it while walking from the coffee station back to her desk.
That's a bad way to not spill coffee

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#5

Post by aurelius » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:23 am

Root wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:16 amThat's a bad way to not spill coffee
She did not not spill her coffee.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#6

Post by brkriete » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:35 am

"Oh my! Did you drink some?"

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#7

Post by Chebass88 » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:56 am

I think you should introduce her to the concept of "vapor pressure". If you feel adventurous, you could begin explaining the dependence on temperature.

"The water evaporated. Thank you for humidifying the office."

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Re:

#8

Post by Savs » Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:27 am

Chebass88 wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:56 am I think you should introduce her to the concept of "vapor pressure". If you feel adventurous, you could begin explaining the dependence on temperature.

"The water evaporated. Thank you for humidifying the office."
Then discuss entropy! The water evaporated because Nature likes things to be more uniform. (More uniformity means more orderliness according to a way of thinking I like. One could argue order is what Nature desires, it is not some arbitrary pattern invented by humans. The natural order of things is toward more smoothness and uniformity. Yes, I'm still pissed off about the incorrect metaphor used by that poseur. I even looked through every one of my Stat Mech and Thermo textbooks, because I don't ever remember being taught that (entropy is disorder) or hearing that description taught. None of those books (Kardar, Kittel, Huang, Reif, Landau, Schroeder), except for one, Schroeder (an introductory text), use the word "disorder". The word cannot be found anywhere except for the one book that has one warning paragraph about using "disorder".)

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#9

Post by Chebass88 » Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:14 am

@Savs - this is precisely the type of person I'd like to recruit for the First United Church of the Kingdom. We will need to begin selling non-porous coffee mugs in the gift shop immediately though.

I can see the ad now:

"Buy your new First United Church of the Kingdom-Mug today. Our non-porous material will help to prevent loss of your beverage through both absorption and evaporation, resulting in an increase in orderliness. The special formulation also enables you to enjoy your favorite iced beverages without having to get a nasty cold sore, by transfiguring the molecules into a positive, health-full state. The mug is printed with our logo on one side and a picture of an outstretched hand marked with the words "Pay up, dumbass Please donate". This classy mug can be used in home or business settings, where you can impress your colleagues or family with how much water you can carry. Buy one today, and for an extra benefit, consider one of our "Thermo-Prayers", where for a nominal fee of $50, we'll include a prayer to decrease the entropy and disorder in your life."

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#10

Post by topfen » Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:28 am

I used to work with a middle-aged guy in accounting who loved to talk with people and who just couldn't not talk to people. He did his job and was a nice guy and all. But it drove me nuts. Best case scenario you could expect was him listening to someone on the phone while making a few sounds himself. But there was no way of shutting him up for more than a few minutes and I have seen him chat up random people on the way to the cafeteria because there was no-one else around that he could talk to.

No idea if this is some sort of mental disorder. But the amount of talking he could do in two-three hours was incredible. And it wasn't like he just needed an audience for his monologes. He actually engaged people, payed attention to what they were saying and asked questions to keep the conversation going.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#11

Post by Allentown » Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:43 am

topfen wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:28 am He actually engaged people, payed attention to what they were saying and asked questions to keep the conversation going.
The only way this hellish madman could be any worse would be if he talked very, very quietly.

I am, by the way, 100% sure I am known to other people in the office as "the guy who sits outside almost every day and shoves large forkfuls of spinach into his mouth at an astounding rate. He wore a much-too-small unicorn onsie on Halloween."

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#12

Post by topfen » Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:51 am

Was it the slutty type of unicorn onsie?

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#13

Post by omaniphil » Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:54 am

topfen wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:28 am I used to work with a middle-aged guy in accounting who loved to talk with people and who just couldn't not talk to people. He did his job and was a nice guy and all. But it drove me nuts. Best case scenario you could expect was him listening to someone on the phone while making a few sounds himself. But there was no way of shutting him up for more than a few minutes and I have seen him chat up random people on the way to the cafeteria because there was no-one else around that he could talk to.

No idea if this is some sort of mental disorder. But the amount of talking he could do in two-three hours was incredible. And it wasn't like he just needed an audience for his monologes. He actually engaged people, payed attention to what they were saying and asked questions to keep the conversation going.
I currently work with some one like that, but my colleague is a little bit more of the monologueing type than your colleague. Anyways, another colleague, who has an office nextdoor to Mr Talk A Lot, will give me a courtesy phone call that gives me an excuse to leave after I've been trapped by Mr. Talk A Lot for more than 5 minutes or so.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#14

Post by Allentown » Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:02 am

topfen wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:51 am Was it the slutty type of unicorn onsie?
The torso wasn't quite as long as I would have liked. But mostly I think it was supposed to be fleece PJs.

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Re:

#15

Post by Savs » Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:10 am

Chebass88 wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:14 am @Savs - this is precisely the type of person I'd like to recruit for the First United Church of the Kingdom. We will need to begin selling non-porous coffee mugs in the gift shop immediately though.

I can see the ad now:

"Buy your new First United Church of the Kingdom-Mug today. Our non-porous material will help to prevent loss of your beverage through both absorption and evaporation, resulting in an increase in orderliness. The special formulation also enables you to enjoy your favorite iced beverages without having to get a nasty cold sore, by transfiguring the molecules into a positive, health-full state. The mug is printed with our logo on one side and a picture of an outstretched hand marked with the words "Pay up, dumbass Please donate". This classy mug can be used in home or business settings, where you can impress your colleagues or family with how much water you can carry. Buy one today, and for an extra benefit, consider one of our "Thermo-Prayers", where for a nominal fee of $50, we'll include a prayer to decrease the entropy and disorder in your life."
Yes, yes. I believe the Lord wants us to be more orderly. A gift shop would be brilliant. Maybe we could hire some part-time money changers. Cute ones, so the good folks of the congregation are more-easily parted from their money. All proceeds go toward feeding and housing the poor, of course.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#16

Post by cgeorg » Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:22 am

Allentown wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:02 am
topfen wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:51 am Was it the slutty type of unicorn onsie?
The torso wasn't quite as long as I would have liked. But mostly I think it was supposed to be fleece PJs.
This happened to me on a Duffman costume. Really bad Maneltoe, and it was worn to a 2 day company retreat thing. Lucky the entire company was an alcoholic so nobody cared much about anything.

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Re:

#17

Post by Root » Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:30 am

Chebass88 wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:14 amI can see the ad now:

"Our non-porous material will help to prevent loss of your beverage..."
Is there a water/wine joke in here somewhere?

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Re: Re:

#18

Post by Chebass88 » Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:36 am

Root wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:30 am
Chebass88 wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:14 amI can see the ad now:

"Our non-porous material will help to prevent loss of your beverage..."
Is there a water/wine joke in here somewhere?
Absolutely. Though we wouldn't want to blaspheme too much, as that could hurt our revenue stream offend people.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#19

Post by Markthetwisted » Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:00 pm

omaniphil wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:54 am
topfen wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:28 am I used to work with a middle-aged guy in accounting who loved to talk with people and who just couldn't not talk to people. He did his job and was a nice guy and all. But it drove me nuts. Best case scenario you could expect was him listening to someone on the phone while making a few sounds himself. But there was no way of shutting him up for more than a few minutes and I have seen him chat up random people on the way to the cafeteria because there was no-one else around that he could talk to.

No idea if this is some sort of mental disorder. But the amount of talking he could do in two-three hours was incredible. And it wasn't like he just needed an audience for his monologes. He actually engaged people, payed attention to what they were saying and asked questions to keep the conversation going.
I currently work with some one like that, but my colleague is a little bit more of the monologueing type than your colleague. Anyways, another colleague, who has an office nextdoor to Mr Talk A Lot, will give me a courtesy phone call that gives me an excuse to leave after I've been trapped by Mr. Talk A Lot for more than 5 minutes or so.

We do that opposite of this at work and try trap each other with time thieves. Engage them in a 3 way conversation then bow out subtly.

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Re: Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

#20

Post by KyleSchuant » Sat Apr 07, 2018 5:44 am

At my old gym, my co-workers were mostly alright, even if not great at their jobs. They were dumb but not crazy. So if every workplace has a crazy person, I guess it was... wait, me?!

Now I'm self-employed, I don't have any co-workers so I just have to complain about my kids instead.

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