Tales from the Office Space: Complain about your coworkers

[Renascent]

I don't pitch in for boss gifts even for bosses I like, dept potlucks (those actually don't seem to happen post-rona now, one good thing that came out of it I guess)

I relented last week and gave up money because one of the plants they're/we're buying is for a former boss of mine whom I still see as a mentor or sorts. She's casually homophobic and super-churchy (sends a lot of those watercolor "Good Morning! The Struggle™ is real! Jesus Loves You!" meme emails each morning, 'cause fuck them rules), but otherwise she's the best of the worst, and, politically, a good one to have on my side when needed.

I thought our workplace had finally crawled out of the stone age with the newfound lack of potlucks (due to the lockdowns), but my boss's tip has been moist ever since the mandates were rolled back some time ago. Everybody's playing catch-up now, so they're booking potlucks for any and every possible reason. I can already smell the mushy green beans and the Red 40 from the hot dogs.

Personally I'm uncomfortable with it both ways... we currently have a boss who tries to do little things like that for us, i.e. we are going out for lunch this week... and while the sentiment is nice I still don't like it.

Same here. Always hated management lunches -- especially the ones that aren't mandatory, but kinda mandatory anyway. Boss always wanted to complain about myself and the only other person under 40 passing the time with our smartphones at the table, obviously disinterested in the "adults" making depressingly vicarious critiques of the lives of the athletic and locally famous, whining about millenials/zillenials, Facebook "news" items, the price of a foot massage in Pan Tang, and bragging about how much money so-and-so spent on food or drink last weekend to feel a spark of something in their personal life.

It's the season for those holiday lunches to start back up again, but the last few times I've managed to get away with going home, or the gym across the street, to do some overhead presses. Hoping to continue to do the same this year if necessary. Nothing worse than spending money on food or company you can't even enjoy.

Some fucking goober: "We're going to Parrain's again. You should come. We are a team, y'know."

Me: "Parrain's? Again?? With the fucking golliwog dolls on the walls? Nah, I'll pass. I'd prefer to lift, if that's not going to hurt anybody."

Goober: Golliwog? Lif? Where's that?!?"

Me: "..."

I'd much rather see that appreciation at the end of the year in my paycheck versus little gifts and get-togethers.

Yep. Anything but the wages is but a tease.

[mouse]

Same here. Always hated management lunches -- especially the ones that aren't mandatory, but kinda mandatory anyway. Boss always wanted to complain about myself and the only other person under 40 passing the time with our smartphones at the table, obviously disinterested in the "adults" making depressingly vicarious critiques of the lives of the athletic and locally famous, whining about millenials/zillenials, Facebook "news" items, the price of a foot massage in Pan Tang, and bragging about how much money so-and-so spent on food or drink last weekend to feel a spark of something in their personal life.

It's not like I actively dislike anyone in our group, it's just that (other than maybe 1) there is no one I would voluntarily go hang out with and I hate being trapped in the forced small talk or (possibly worse) the inevitable shop talk that is supposed to be happening on my personal time.

Yep. Anything but the wages is but a tease.

Uncomfortable comp'd lunches are slightly above the hard on this place has for giving us cheap corporate knick-knacks and thinking it is akin to being 'appreciated' hahaha...

[aurelius]

I'd much rather see that appreciation at the end of the year in my paycheck versus little gifts and get-togethers.

Yep. Anything but the wages is but a tease.

I agree BUT let me give you my perspective as a manager.

Getting someone a $1 raise above whatever target corporate sets is a near impossible task requiring me to have discussions with everyone in the chain of command above me to the COO. That is a lot of conversations I am forced to hear corporate drone talk over and over and over again. With a 99% chance I get told no anyway.

I expense about $1,000 to the company every month for team building. Happy hours, Top Golf, lunches, and so on. Had a par 3 golf tournament last month. Never had to explain any of that to anyone.

Pot lucks are dumb. Corporate pushing costs on to employees for team building. Corporations want to team build then they need to bear the expense.

[Allentown]

Coffee mugs for everone!

[JimRiley]

One time I was on an ad hoc team doing some tedious little project, and the product manager who was in charge "gifted" all of us at the wrapup meeting with little electronic hamsters that made chopchop motions while playing Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting. I'll never forget the cacophony of everyone running their hamsters at once on the conference table.

[Renascent]

One time I was on an ad hoc team doing some tedious little project, and the product manager who was in charge "gifted" all of us at the wrapup meeting with little electronic hamsters that made chopchop motions while playing Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting. I'll never forget the cacophony of everyone running their hamsters at once on the conference table.

[aurelius]

[/quote]

I feel like this is racist? I don't know. But something is definitely wrong with this.

[Renascent]

I feel like this is racist? I don't know. But something is definitely wrong with this.

I questioned the very same thing, tbh.

I was certainly in awe that it was indeed a real thing. Not only did someone come up with the hamster idea, but someone else closed a work project and thought, "I know what would make a great parting gift!"

[JimRiley]

That is indeed what our little gift hamsters looked like. I'd forgotten about the nunchuks.

To be somewhat fair, despite the silliness of the whole thing, the portion of the song that gets played doesn't include the problematic racial stereotyping, and I don't think the hamster especially resembles any particular group of humans. But it was definitely a dumb idea.

[aurelius]

I was just teasing about the racist thing. But I do find the singing num chuck hamster disturbing on some level.

[Allentown]

I feel like this is racist? I don't know. But something is definitely wrong with this.

I questioned the very same thing, tbh.

I was certainly in awe that it was indeed a real thing. Not only did someone come up with the hamster idea, but someone else closed a work project and thought, "I know what would make a great parting gift!"

My parents or brother got one of those somewhere and gave it to my kid. It somehow accidentally got left at their house.

[mouse]

Not gonna lie either coffee mugs or culturally insensitive hamster toys would be a HUGE step up from what I'm talking about (especially the hamster)

To give you an example around Christmas time (or winter holiday or whatever the fuck we call it now) the company distributed shot glasses with a poorly printed company logo with (no lie) a single peppermint in it. The 'glass' was made of rubber.

I actually turned mine down when the HR elf tried to hand it to me. It was insulting. It's clearly just trade show knick knacks they didn't get rid of.

For perspective we used to get a Christmas turkey every year. Not like massive but usually around 10 lbs or so if I recall. If you didn't want it or need it there were a few guys here that would round them up and donate them to local shelters. Then the company decided that it was 'too expensive to box them' and nixed the whole thing. A lot of the people working here now probably don't know that was ever even a thing.

[jwilson625]

Today the electronic message board in the cafeteria had a friendly reminder to, out of respect for your coworkers, please exercise caution opening your car doors in the parking lot so you don't damage others' vehicles

We have since added notes on the fridge reminding employees not to take other peoples' food without asking

[mouse]

Today the electronic message board in the cafeteria had a friendly reminder to, out of respect for your coworkers, please exercise caution opening your car doors in the parking lot so you don't damage others' vehicles

We have since added notes on the fridge reminding employees not to take other peoples' food without asking

Yo there is a very famous story that once upon a time at the old facility before we moved somebody (we all knew who it was but not like anyone could prove it) stole breast milk that somebody was storing...

[Allentown]

Phone meeting: "So who will be providing the data?"
Me: "I will"
One other person: "We already discussed that, Allentown will be providing the data"
First person: "We just want to identify who will be providing the data"
Phone call: (stunned silence)
Me: "Like we just said, I will"

[5hout]

I have 3 different remote server accounts (5hout, 5hout1, 5hout2). I have 3 different work emails (5hout@, 5hout1@, 5hout2@). None of them match. For remote serve 5hout I log into 5hout2@, and so on. I have 3 different browser based Software Platform we log into from the email account. 2 of these match their emails. 1 of them does not.

This makes me feel trapped in Vonnegut novel.

I think it's mostly tech support incompetence, but also it's incompetence aligned with policy (they'd prefer people worked 1 project at a time, not 3 like I'm doing). So no incentive to make multi-project work easier, but of course if you work 1 at a time you'll be idle 25% of the time and not get paid for that time.

[mgil]

Why does the HR department continue to get renamed? The names get worse over time…

Human Resources
Human Capital
Talent Acquisition
People Analytics

[SnakePlissken]

Why does the HR department continue to get renamed? The names get worse over time…

Human Resources
Human Capital
Talent Acquisition
People Analytics

My last job any engineer under the age of 30 was called "Young Talent" and seeing "Talent Acquisition" gave me flashbacks

[mbasic]

little late for Halloween, but can you imagine? lol

https://www.theonion.com/man-wouldnt-ha ... 1820008224

[gtl]

Why does the HR department continue to get renamed? The names get worse over time…

Human Resources
Human Capital
Talent Acquisition
People Analytics

I would think that these are more functions of HR (as an umbrella term) than an actual department title.

Human Resources might refer to more specific "support" functions, IE: my coworker called me an idiot, and I want to complain
Human Capital is a spin to try to highlight that "people are the most important part of the company", but the term isn't necessarily new. Most HR systems are called "HCM" (human capital management) systems.
Talent Acquisition is just recruiting.. Idk.
People Analytics is relatively new.. mostly people trying to understand employee data, with imperfect HR records/systems. And likely not to actually care about what the data is saying at the end of the day.