CheekiBreekiFitness wrote: ↑Wed Dec 14, 2022 3:44 am
EggMcMuffin wrote: ↑Tue Dec 13, 2022 3:58 am
I don't work in an office but this chick at my shitty retail job has one of those fucked up fetishes for Latino dudes and
is constantly sexually harassing me and every other Spanish speaking person in the building. She has a habit of claiming anyone who rebukes her advances is sexually harassing *her*. She does this awesome thing where she will talk to us in broken Spanish in a really gross, patronizing manner.
Does work ever stop being pure unmitigated torture? Can I just have one normal workplace? Like I understand that I am the modern day equivalent of a serf but Lord Have Mercy
That happens when you're attractive my dude.
Uh, yep.
I had this Asian co-worker once (
actually, no I didn't). Gorgeous woman, looked like she was lifted right from a scene in
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (or something like it). She never paid me much mind, and I really wanted her attention. She really just wanted to get her work done and go home. Anyway, I'd let out these loud
kiai screams any time I was in her vicinity -- at the printer, near the water fountain, on the elevators. It was very cute, though she probably didn't realize it herself, because she was too busy being worried about me sexually harassing her or some shit. Harumph.
Sometimes I'd wear a kasa to work and ask her what I should eat for dinner: moo goo gai pan, or chankonabe, or bánh mì. When she'd scrunch up her face in response -- as if she was looking at a ball of slime erected before her -- I didn't pay that shit any mind. One time I said to her, "
Me so horny! How about you?" She turned down my advances, and interpreted my statement as sexual harassment (instead of a compliment, like she should've), so I had to strike first.
I went and told everybody I could that she was sexually harassing me.
Eventually she learned how this game was supposed to go. Once she figured out I was doing all this because she was attractive, she realized that my behavior was perfectly okay. After all, I was a jam-up guy, and obviously well-adjusted to my environment, which included people of various ethnic backgrounds. So she'd twirl her hair around her fingers and smile obediently any time I came around to do my Sonny Chiba impressions, because she learned to be grateful for my "compliments." As she should be.
We're golden now, and any time I'm blessed to work with similarly exotic co-workers like the aforementioned woman, I run through the same routine as before. Works nearly every time.
Only the uptight ones seem to take offense, as if there were more appropriate ways to show my genuine interest. They should wanna lap up all the compliments that get thrown their way, don't you think?
[
Totally not being sarcastic, by the way]
@EggMcMuffin, based on the concerns you explicitly mentioned, you probably know this already, but any sort of attention you're receiving primarily centered around your ethnic background might be suspect from the start. We used to call them "ethnic-hunters" back in the aughts.
But there is room for a conversation between two consenting adults, though this woman doesn't seem mature enough for it. Still, if you decide to get your dick wet, I hope you are well-compensated.
I missed a lot of shots I don't regret not taking, years ago, because I could not properly get "into character," if you catch my drift. I like rap sometimes, but apparently never enough for what some of my would-be southern suitresses from across the tracks required for their "needs." I don't kinkshame, but I wasn't mentally ready for that at the time.
And with that, Renascent climbed his snowflake ass atop his clumsy steed, in his bewoke boots, and rode away from the Castle of Social Justice™, in search of change plates scattered by the recent winds of plague.
For it was time to bench.