Turkey Prep for Thanksgiving

[Allentown]

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Memory malleability FTW
I'd rather have prime rib, but I'm not going to complain about the traditional turkey and potatoes.
Coincidentally, I am going to a friends' place tonight for his trial run of a traditional turkey dinner. Not going to stuff myself, because I will have to squat and run afterwards, and no one wants to hear about me puking on a treadmill set to 4.2 speed.

[Hanley]

I am going to a friends' place tonight for his trial run of a traditional turkey dinner.

I find it amazing that in our culture it's socially acceptable to serve friends and loved-ones fart-birds.

None but weirdos and deviants likes turkey.

I'd rather eat grocery store tofu.

[CamLeslie]

I'm doing 2 turkeys. One traditional, One Sous Vide (you guys convinced me). Bummer part is no huge silicone bags on market...yet.

[heidikay]

All I get in response to that is "blah blah tradition blah blah"

Tradition = masking the flavor of turkey with heavy brines,wood-smoke and rubs because turkey taste like farts

How do you know what a fart tastes like?

[Hanley]

All I get in response to that is "blah blah tradition blah blah"

Tradition = masking the flavor of turkey with heavy brines,wood-smoke and rubs because turkey taste like farts

How do you know what a fart tastes like?

I was drunk, okay?

[Root]

All I get in response to that is "blah blah tradition blah blah"

Tradition = masking the flavor of turkey with heavy brines,wood-smoke and rubs because turkey taste like farts

How do you know what a fart tastes like?

How do you NOT know what a fart tastes like?

[Manveer]

If you have ever farted in the shower, you should know what a fart tastes like. Like turkey.

[Hanley]

you should know what a fart tastes like. Like turkey.

I love you

[Chebass88]

I find it amazing that in our culture it's socially acceptable to serve friends and loved-ones fart-birds.

We always go to my wife's aunt & uncle's place for Thanksgiving. Neither her aunt nor her mom can cook all that well, every dinner ends up cold and tasteless. Every year they try new recipes, all of which are mediocre at best. The best part is that the alcohol flows nicely, and they genuinely are nice people. I'm looking forward to the carrot cake my wife is making for her mom's birthday.

Of bigger concern is making sure two five year olds don't destroy someone else's house while chasing their cousin around, playing "PJ Masks*".

[Hanley]

playing "PJ Masks*".

That's THE THING with the 5-year-olds, huh? My kids recently went to "PJ Masks Live". It was weird.

[heidikay]

If you have ever farted in the shower, you should know what a fart tastes like. Like turkey.

AAAGH, I feel dizzy with disgust.
I will stick to the sides this year.

[hsilman]

We rarely make turkey, and always host friends for Thanksgiving. We're of the age where quite a few friends still "visit home/parents" for the holidays. Though that probably has to do with the larger number of single or childless friends we have than the age.

Making a boneless leg lamb this year. Pretty simple, rosemary, garlic, lemon butter. Roast for X minutes.

[Allentown]

playing "PJ Masks*".

That's THE THING with the 5-year-olds, huh? My kids recently went to "PJ Masks Live". It was weird.

And 2-year-olds, apparently. Ours asks for "Macks!" all the time, and loves saying "Decco!" and "Ack-Boy!" during the intro. He's not so into Owlette.

[Root]

First time cutting up a whole bird. I think I done pretty good.

[omaniphil]

First time cutting up a whole bird. I think I done pretty good.

Nice. I'm following your plan. I butchered my turkey and applied the dry rub (salt and herbs) this morning. I left my drum sticks and thighs as leg quarters, but thought about separating them.

What temperature are you bringing the breast to? 150ish?

[Root]

What temperature are you bringing the breast to? 150ish?

Probably 160. Seems to be standard. I don't think there'll be a ton of carryover if I take them off sooner.

[omaniphil]

Turned out pretty good! Thanks for the plan @Root.

Very moist even though I ended up overcooking the breast slightly. The skin wasn't particularly tasty, but that was likely due to a major grease fire from forgetting to put water in my water tray right above the flames. The excess grease on the tray caught on fire, and there was quite the smoky blowout. Obviously will have to avoid that in the future. Still a hit though, and far better than bland, non-brined oven roasted turkey, so there's that.

g]

[Root]

Glad you overcame the grease fire! The turkey looks great. I ended up over smoking mine. Was crunched for time and didn't burn off all the "bad" smoke before I put it on. Still turned out ok though. Not bad for a fart bird.

[heidikay]

After being brined, marinated, wrapped in an entire pack of bacon, smoked, and then glazed, our breast of fart tasted fantastic:

[Hanley]

Was crunched for time and didn't burn off all the "bad" smoke before I put it on

The combustion process in non-offset smokers still confuses me. The smoke during the initial light is all sooty and shitty...but the unburned wood that ignites several hours into a smoke actually burns pretty clean. What the hell is going on?