Oh the places you'll bro! (Tales of Gym Glory)

[Mkgillman]

Get to the gym this morning and greeted with the cool new thing for women: squats with 5 pound dumbells resting on their shoulders. It's not a bar! It's not goblets! It's...something else!

[tersh]

You mean balanced on their shoulders? No hands? That could be amusing to see done with heavy dumbbells.

[mikeylikey]

Duplicate threads.

Are you guys rippening this shit already?

[Mkgillman]

Duplicate threads.

Are you guys rippening this shit already?

Fixed

Dumbbells aren't balanced, just kind of held there in an over exaggerated rack position.

We can also add:

Husband and wife spotting each other with light db side and front raises.

Guy in cable crossover, quarter squat position, doing what I will refer to as "dynamic effort wolverine fight stance." SNICK SNACK.

[Idlehands]

Is this the dumb shit gym thread? Pretty sure mkgillman has a lock on posting here. I hear his diatribes everyday at the gym. Makes me want to do a road trip to the gym to see what tomfoolery I can see. Until I realize fuck that noise.

[mgil]

Mkgillman, what gym do you belong to? It seems like LA Fitness and similar chains are ripe for fuckery, which is why I ask.

[Mkgillman]

Mkgillman, what gym do you belong to? It seems like LA Fitness and similar chains are ripe for fuckery, which is why I ask.

I'm at the Alaska Club. It is a chain, sort of. The facility itself is really nice and they do the best job of cleaning and maintenance I've ever seen at a gym. The clientele are something completely different though.

As examples today, one of the trainers who resembles Christian bale in American psycho had a client pushing the weight sled, but loaded it too heavy and was helping her to push. Instead of fixing the load, they did team pushes for 20 minutes. There was obligatory wrist curls with full body involvement and noises more closely associated with passing a kidney stone. We currently have some guy half squatting 135 with the hooks a solid three inches above his shoulders. Tip toe to unrack and the safeties nowhere to be found.

[mbasic]

Speaking of sleds . . .I give you, The Roller Sled. aka TANK

This is the worst piece of shit thing my Lifetime Fitness ever did buy:
(its only $1,900 retail)



. . . well, maybe because its so misapplied.

#1: they run it upstairs in the weight area. You have to clear a bunch of shit* out of the way to push a whole 25 feet at best.

#2: because of #1, being such a short distance, they load it up on weight (10-12 plates) and have to set the torque break at max
They push it with many little teeny steps. No ROM. Like doing quarter calves raise/ eighth squats lunges things . . . to keep it moving.
They'd be better of with long strides IMO. OR some speed (#1 makes impossible).

#3: it doesn't track back n forth in its same tracks. It like curves a little bit each time. The tires are different sizes and/or the torque break is connected to one wheel. Scratch that last one, the torque break is connected to both wheels on that axle. Both alxe are "locked". Maybe the axles aren't aligned well.
So the path goes all over the place in a few "laps". Shit* they moved has to be moved again because the sled keeps picking a different route.

#4: What would be smart is to keep it on the indoor basketball court down stairs (that is never getting used in the middle of the day).
That way you could push it 90' . . . and faster . . .with less weight.

*Shit is defined as:
people;
people's bosu balls setups;
people's benches for hip thrusts;
jump boxes;
yoga mats; etc etc etc
. . . and my tall plyo box that I set my camera up on.

[Mkgillman]

Speaking of sleds . . .I give you, The Roller Sled. aka TANK

This is the worst piece of shit thing my Lifetime Fitness ever did buy:
(its only $1,900 retail)



. . . well, maybe because its so misapplied.

#1: they run it upstairs in the weight area. You have to clear a bunch of shit* out of the way to push a whole 25 feet at best.

#2: because of #1, being such a short distance, they load it up on weight (10-12 plates) and have to set the torque break at max
They push it with many little teeny steps. No ROM. Like doing quarter calves raise/ eighth squats lunges things . . . to keep it moving.
They'd be better of with long strides IMO. OR some speed (#1 makes impossible).

#3: it doesn't track back n forth in its same tracks. It like curves a little bit each time. The tires are different sizes and/or the torque break is connected to one wheel. Scratch that last one, the torque break is connected to both wheels on that axle. Both alxe are "locked". Maybe the axles aren't aligned well.
So the path goes all over the place in a few "laps". Shit* they moved has to be moved again because the sled keeps picking a different route.

#4: What would be smart is to keep it on the indoor basketball court down stairs (that is never getting used in the middle of the day).
That way you could push it 90' . . . and faster . . .with less weight.

*Shit is defined as:
people;
people's bosu balls setups;
people's benches for hip thrusts;
jump boxes;
yoga mats; etc etc etc
. . . and my tall plyo box that I set my camera up on.

My gym just got this exact same thing to replace a perfectly serviceable weight sled. You aren't kidding even a little bit that it won't track straight. I also love how the vast majority of people that I see using it set the resistance to "off".

[mbasic]

My gym just got this exact same thing to replace a perfectly serviceable weight sled. You aren't kidding even a little bit that it won't track straight. I also love how the vast majority of people that I see using it set the resistance to "off".

They had prowler type sleds outside.
The asphalt has huge (2-3" wide) cracks out there.
One of the trainer said the broke both sleds? how do you do this?
Maybe a guy/gal endo-ed a sled . . . that'd be awesome to see

Where I am at, its super hot outside, so it makes sense.
But how they go about it is the fun part

[Idlehands]

I need to get out to a gym to post here! Or not.
Where's the funny at?!

[simonrest]

I just caught a guy POV filming himself doing hip thrusters with no weight. It's a video of his crotch going up and down...

[Mkgillman]

I just caught a guy POV filming himself doing hip thrusters with no weight. It's a video of his crotch going up and down...

Links or gtfo

In today's nonsense I was greeted with by a young lady doing something I've never seen before in the Smith machine. She had dragged a flat bench in there which she lay upon prone. She then put her feet on the bar and pushed it up with her legs. This particular person works glutes, all the glutes, and nothing but the glutes, so I'm assuming this was some glute thing. I just looked like a really convenient way to get a falling bar lashed across the back of your thighs.

Later I was joined in the weight room with a guy working press lock outs, except he was only using 115 pounds and he had his feel almost one behind the other. Who knows, stability, something, something. This was silly enough, but then he racked the bar and proceeded to jump rope in between sets, but with an imaginary jump rope. The first time I glanced up and saw it, I assumed I just didn't see it right, he was even moving his wrists like he was jumping rope. Alas, no rope there was to be seen. He went on to do this in between every set of press, bench, and silly curl stuff for the next hour. There is a whole rack of jump ropes in the gym, lots of them, right there for the taking. Not for our good man though.

[Idlehands]

classic pics or gtfo. The pics we have seen. This could get good.

And finally, a place good enough for the alaskan shenanigans crazy gym nonsense.

[simonrest]

gym stories
one bloke was using chalk for incline DB bench. Made a mess of it too (of course)
one bloke was doing some deadlifts, loaded the bar with a pair of 15kg plates, then 5kg training plates, then a 10kg bumper, then the 2.5kg training plate, then another 10kg bumper. 5 plates a side to get to 105kg

[Murelli]

gym stories
one bloke was using chalk for incline DB bench. Made a mess of it too (of course)
one bloke was doing some deadlifts, loaded the bar with a pair of 15kg plates, then 5kg training plates, then a 10kg bumper, then the 2.5kg training plate, then another 10kg bumper. 5 plates a side to get to 105kg

Now he can tell everyone he deadlifted 5 plates.

[TwoFoursStrohm]

Trainer had a skinny chick with the classical runner's body (skinny everywhere, flat butt and calves bigger than her thights) doing hex bar deadlifts. He loads it with 155lb or so and she does 5 shaky reps and says afterwards that it's too heavy and she would like to take some weight off. Dipsh*t trainer tells her she can do this weight if she starts bouncing the weight off the floor and that's what bumper plates are for! So he makes her do another set while I cringe in my pants and he cheers her on while also managing to browse his phone.

I saw her later on holder her lower back in pain.

[Mkgillman]

The invisible jump rope guy has been there every time I go in, skipping an invisible rope. I am left with only two possible explanations. Either this is some sort of psyop test to see they can make me snap or he has a magically invisible rope like Wonder Woman's plane. Only possibilities.

There are also a group of men at my gym that seem to only be able apply their man-perfume by spraying a gigantic cloud of it and then jumping through the cloud a couple of times. That stench gets so think in there that I will go through to use the head and come out stinking like a frat boy. I'm not a huge fan of strong perfume in general and when it infects other people it is truly obnoxious.

[simonrest]

Maybe he's really uncoordinated and using an actual to makes him trip over.

I know someone who is like this, but even when I, I mean he, jumps rope he still used an actual rope....

[Mkgillman]

Maybe he's really uncoordinated and using an actual to makes him trip over.

I know someone who is like this, but even when I, I mean he, jumps rope he still used an actual rope....

What I don't get is why he doesn't just do jumping jacks or mountain climbers or freaking jog in place. He actually mimics the hand movement as if he were jumping rope. I think that I'm going to start leaving jumping ropes laying around conspicuously next week.