For Your Health (a hunk's log)

[EricK]

...go 110% into a thing only to completely pull out at a moment's notice.

The best, most concise description of my premarital sex life imaginable.

[broseph]

...go 110% into a thing only to completely pull out at a moment's notice.

The best, most concise description of my premarital sex life imaginable.

Sinner.

If you keep yourself pure, this can also be your intramarital sex life.

[alek]

If you're not watching How To Dad on YouTube, then... I got nothing. He's funny.



Whoops... forgot the hashtag. #dadlife

[broseph]

@alek the parody of reality television is almost more funny than the dad stuff.

Climbing in and out of the minivan to remove/install car seats at the last minute is embarrassingly infuriating. In a moment of weakness, I ripped out one of the overhead flip down "storage" things that you activate by bumping your head into as you climb into the back of the van. Then you snag your shoulder/neck/ear on it on your way back out.

[alek]

alek the parody of reality television is almost more funny than the dad stuff.

Climbing in and out of the minivan to remove/install car seats at the last minute is embarrassingly infuriating. In a moment of weakness, I ripped out one of the overhead flip down "storage" things that you activate by bumping your head into as you climb into the back of the van. Then you snag your shoulder/neck/ear on it on your way back out.

Here's another one.



ETA: Dammit... #dadlife

[broseph]

Here's another one.

ETA: Dammit... #dadlife

Waaaaay too accurate. The dramatic, slow motion, multi step transition from the couch hits especially hard.

It’s YOUR bicycle. YOU left it in the road. Just put it anywhere in the garage. They act like it’s this insurmountable, unreasonable, and wrongfully assigned task. A great injustice has occurred whereby they must forfeit their leisure and labor away under threat of violence by an arbitrary authority.

Sometimes I just want to run over the bicycle myself.

[augeleven]

Sometimes I just want to run over the bicycle myself.

Guilty. Last summer I clipped my daughter’s scooter with the lawnmower, rendering the brake useless. It felt good at the time.
No lessons were learned. Except that dad is bad at lawnmowers.

[alek]

Here's another one.

ETA: Dammit... #dadlife

Waaaaay too accurate. The dramatic, slow motion, multi step transition from the couch hits especially hard.

It’s YOUR bicycle. YOU left it in the road. Just put it anywhere in the garage. They act like it’s this insurmountable, unreasonable, and wrongfully assigned task. A great injustice has occurred whereby they must forfeit their leisure and labor away under threat of violence by an arbitrary authority.

Sometimes I just want to run over the bicycle myself.

Every once in a while when we ask our 6 year old daughter to pick up her own mess, she’ll tell us that “you’re kinda treating me like Cinderella.”

Oh really?

[omaniphil]

Every once in a while when we ask our 6 year old daughter to pick up her own mess, she’ll tell us that “you’re kinda treating me like Cinderella.”

Oh really?

My wife tells me that threatening to throw away toys that are on the ground that don't get picked up is not a good strategy. I don't know...

[alek]

Every once in a while when we ask our 6 year old daughter to pick up her own mess, she’ll tell us that “you’re kinda treating me like Cinderella.”

Oh really?

My wife tells me that threatening to throw away toys that are on the ground that don't get picked up is not a good strategy. I don't know...

Oh, we’ve said that a few times. I actually threw stuff away one time.

I try to phrase it as “if you have too much that you can’t keep it clean, then we can give it to another kid that doesn’t have as much as you.”

[broseph]

Every once in a while when we ask our 6 year old daughter to pick up her own mess, she’ll tell us that “you’re kinda treating me like Cinderella.”

Oh really?

My wife tells me that threatening to throw away toys that are on the ground that don't get picked up is not a good strategy. I don't know...

Oh, we’ve said that a few times. I actually threw stuff away one time.

I try to phrase it as “if you have too much that you can’t keep it clean, then we can give it to another kid that doesn’t have as much as you.”

This brings up what I believe is the core of the problem. At what age do kids really grasp the concept and weight of punishments?

My 6 year olds would be absolutely crushed if their bikes got ran over by a car. But I don't think they can process it and feel it as empathy for their future selves. My 8 year old has only recently acquired this ability.

Until they're able to do this, I don't feel like any punishment or threat of punishment has much effect. A time-out given immediately after bad behavior can make them regret what they did (maybe?), but I'm not sure it motivates their future self.

Having so many kids in rapid succession, it seems to me that some kids are just good and others are just naughty. Various punishments have varying immediate effects, but the good kids are mostly good and the naughty kids are mostly naughty. It's more about me anticipating the future and doing what I can to sett them up for success vs failure. And intervening as close to real time as possible.

ETA: Regarding real time interventions; I think encouragement for good behaviors works WAY better than discouragement for bad. The slam dunk is setting up a situation where they will likely succeed and giving praise as if they did it completely of their own accord.

[alek]

Every once in a while when we ask our 6 year old daughter to pick up her own mess, she’ll tell us that “you’re kinda treating me like Cinderella.”

Oh really?

My wife tells me that threatening to throw away toys that are on the ground that don't get picked up is not a good strategy. I don't know...

Oh, we’ve said that a few times. I actually threw stuff away one time.

I try to phrase it as “if you have too much that you can’t keep it clean, then we can give it to another kid that doesn’t have as much as you.”

This brings up what I believe is the core of the problem. At what age do kids really grasp the concept and weight of punishments?

I think it's different for each kid, and even when they are able to do so, that doesn't mean they do it 100% of the time. They're just not able to--they're brains are still developing, and at times they just literally cannot do it because their brains haven't developed to the point they can. Hell, even adults don't grasp it all the time.

My 6 year olds would be absolutely crushed if their bikes got ran over by a car. But I don't think they can process it and feel it as empathy for their future selves. My 8 year old has only recently acquired this ability.

Until they're able to do this, I don't feel like any punishment or threat of punishment has much effect. A time-out given immediately after bad behavior can make them regret what they did (maybe?), but I'm not sure it motivates their future self.

One thing I’ve tried to do lately is think about what lesson I want my kids to learn when I discipline them. So instead of just punishing or taking something away, I try to teach them how I want them to act/behave/do. I think doing that may have a better chance of having an impact on their future selves, which is really what we want right? If they’ve done something bad, then it’s done… “It’s in the past,” said in Rafiki's voice. If I can help them make better choices later, then that’s a win.

Also, none of that is my original idea. I got it from that book I was hocking in this space a while ago: No Drama Discipline.

Also also, I still take things away, but I much more thoughtful about it… usually.

My favorite few mantras that my six year old knows are
1) Children who dawdle miss out on things, and
2) Children who misbehave miss out on things.

Having so many kids in rapid succession, it seems to me that some kids are just good and others are just naughty. Various punishments have varying immediate effects, but the good kids are mostly good and the naughty kids are mostly naughty. It's more about me anticipating the future and doing what I can to sett them up for success vs failure. And intervening as close to real time as possible.

Yes.

ETA: Regarding real time interventions; I think encouragement for good behaviors works WAY better than discouragement for bad. The slam dunk is setting up a situation where they will likely succeed and giving praise as if they did it completely of their own accord.

Yes again.

I think my wife does this to me, too…

[alek]

#dadlife

Here’s another one, dads. Just be careful, it may be #nsfw—not safe for wives.

[broseph]

#dadlife

Here’s another one, dads. Just be careful, it may be #nsfw—not safe for wives.

Lol. I used to be a part of most of the c-sections at a hospital, and the dads were always so annoying.

Also, on the way to the hospital for our second kid, while my wife was having contractions, I quick hit a Burger King drive through because I knew I wouldn't get to eat for another 6 hours. (as a medical semi-professional, I assessed there to be no danger of a Burger King parking lot delivery).

[Allentown]

Re: quitting Xfit gym- that was exactly me. One day I just decided doing sets of 20 deadlifts with 135 after running around the block was stupid.

Also, yes, the couch.

[broseph]

So, like, did you say your goodbyes? Or did you kinda silently decide in secret, "Eh, fuck this," and stop going?

It's not a huge gym, and the few people (mostly women) I purposely interact with will be seen socially outside of the gym (via my wife).

I feel a little grief about this one younger dude who's always asking me nutritional and lifting questions. I've helped him with programming for the big lifts and stuff and I always spot him when it comes time to test 1RM's. Just another casualty of my pathology to go 110% into a thing only to completely pull out at a moment's notice.

Update: I've kept in touch with the young dude from the gym. He had asked me for advice on actually getting stronger, so I sent him a copy of @Hanley's 12-session Montana Method template and he's added 20 pounds to his bench and 40 pounds to squat and deadlift each after 2 runs.

Now several gym members have asked me for links to Montana Method, and my wife even started a little "strength club" with a few other women and they're all taking The Trip to Montana (my wife is already pretty strong and the template is great for her but the other ladies are much weaker and their strength gainz are outpacing the program even though they've been super cereal about CrossFit for years and I told my wife they should've just done a straight LP or Heavy/Light Progression instead of wasting such good intermediate programming on newb gainz)

The gym coach even asked me about coming on as a (low) paid coach to lead some these classes. If money ever got involved I'd have to consult Hanley to inquire about his cut. For now I'm just spreading the free gospel of the good news of strength.

For your legacy

[JohnHelton]

That is very cool. It is nice to see other people getting stronger, especially when your own gains don't come as easily at this point. It also highlights how CrossFit is more of a cardio workout than a strength workout. Crossfit people tend to be surprisingly weak on average. I certainly was.

[alek]

Today is the first day of PreK for our youngest--and last!!!--child. I thought the following is appropriate.



I'm like 35% This Dad, 65% That Dad.

[broseph]

And we're back.

I spent the entire summer installing an above ground pool with all associated electrical, plumbing, and decking. It was way more man hours than I anticipated, and I spent way too much time waiting for permits and questions/answers from the inspectors. I spent about as much money as I planned, so that's ok, I guess.
For your weekend warrior.

I've spent every spare minute planning, shopping, or building, and I'm exhausted now at the finishing line. I've been waking up between 2 and 4 a.m. wide awake with my brain trying to solve whatever problem I was working on the night before. Yuck. This morning I slept till 7:30. It was awesome.
For your obsessive compulsions.

I haven't "worked out" in a month, and haven't worked out meaningfully in 2. Things have been fairly strenuous in the backyard though, as evidenced by my wrist, elbow, shoulder, back, and knee pains. So it's almost like I never stopped lifting, besides all the muscles being smaller and weaker.
For your health.

I'll be lifting in the basement and logging again, starting today. Push Pull Legs has always been a favorite, and I think it will be nice to focus on some hypertrophy before shifting gears to strength in the big 3. My current arbitrary goal is to have a neck:waist:arm ratio of 1:2:1. It's currently 17:35:17. Attainable goal is attainable.
For your vanity.

[broseph]

8/22/22

Bodyweight 188#

PUSH
2:00 rest times, 3:00 transitions between movements

Bench 135x4x10

Press 75x3x10

Upright Row 45x3x20 (technically a "pull" but I don't want to destroy my brachioradialis on pull day)

LTE 38x3x20


Musings: Tentative plan for Push Pull Legs is to keep the movements basic and consistent. Sets of 10 for everything at first with very light weights. I'll cap rest times and LP the weight until my last set starts to approach RPE 9, at which time I'll deload the weight and switch to sets of 8. I'll repeat this process, decreasing rep count by 2 until sets of 4 runs itself out.

The problem, obviously, is that each lift will run out at different rates. And sets of 4 with curls, tricep extensions, calf raises, etc is dumb. We'll call those movements "accessory" and treat them differently. Maybe start with sets of 20 or something. Who knows. There really is no plan. At least I'm lifting again. And logging in real time stream of consciousness.

Also, I'm basically working long day shifts now, except for Mondays. By keeping these workouts basic my hope is to get into a routine of working out most days.